Me, Myself, and Jesus

Lately I have been faced with the overwhelming desire to focus on myself. Grief could be given some of the credit for this condition as it tends to be a self-centered time for people. Ultimately that is just an excuse, too. Overall there is a constant theme in my life that repeatedly brings me back to myself instead of Christ. This core part of my flesh troubles me because according to 2 Corinthians 5 I am no longer slave to myself. Jesus died for me so that I can be free from living for myself and fully live for Him.

What does that look like? What does that mean? Living for nothing but Christ seems like a fantasy that can only be attained in Heaven. I sit with my Bible open on my lap wondering what life is all about, anyway.
This morning in a sunrise prayer meeting at church we discussed this aspect of our human flesh. Rick, our pastor, talked about our desire to own at least 1% of our salvation. He talked about how when we first come face to face with the powerful love of Christ as a new Believer we are taken by him and overwhelmed by his generosity. We know the sins in our lives that kept us away, and we're quick to acknowledge the amazing relief of being freed from them. After some time, however, we begin to incorporate more of Christ's principles for living into our lives and we somehow start to think that there is something- even so small- within us that is inherently good. At this moment we lose some of the perspective of the power of God's incredible grace.

We prayed this morning that we would be stripped of this arrogance that dangerously seeps in. I do not want to live my life for myself, but for Christ alone. I need Him to show me what that means in my life and how to choose him each day.
I find myself frustrated with the flesh I am trapped in here on earth. This is not my home, and there are days when that realization is powerfully evident in my life. Other days I sit ashamed for trading in my Savior for trival accolades and praise.
Oh how I wish I could live a free life- the freedom that was given to me the moment Christ took his last breath on the Cross and rose again...A freedom I already possess, but am incapable of accessing daily.

Jesus help us.