Rent-A-Receptionist

Since I've moved to Boston I have been working as a temporary employee for an agency downtown. My first assignment was at State Street Global Advisors which I completed last Friday. It was a fun place to work, and I am thankful for the chance to work fulltime and get settled in Boston. Now the summer is here and I am a free agent. I have worked this week for another company- TA Associates. They also do financial stuff of which I have no idea.

I am temping for their receptionist- similar to what I did at SSgA. The job is easier because there are less duties, but the phone system is superior technology. It is all connected to a computer and while you're on the line with someone you transfer them using the mouse and a computer screen. Pretty cool. I was also told to get there about 15 min early because the cater breakfast every morning from Au Bon Pain, lunch on Fridays, and a late evening snack. They're all about food. I'm excited for the pastries and fruit tomorrow morning. hehe

I had an interesting conversation today with my friend Shannon, a fellow temp and member of my small group from church. The temp idea sounds great in theory, right? You decide when you work and if you do not take to an assignement you can get another one. Here is the problem for me- I can not say no. There are times when you need to just sit still and not do anything, but to do that in a city where there is always something to do can be a real challenge. I wish that I could send out a memo each day stating if I wanted to work or not and then nobody would call me if it said I did not. This way I would not have to tell someone no.
The problem with saying no is that I do, at times, feel it is necessary, but the money-monster chimes in and makes me feel bad about it. "You need the money," he says. (yes, the money-monster is a man, not sure why) Well, yes, I do need the money, but I also have received a pretty clear message that I am to take it easy this summer and give myself room to grieve. Why is everything so caught up in money?

Speaking of time to grieve. That is my goal this summer... if you can call it a goal. I just want time to sit still and give myself permission to cry... make my face puffy and my makeup run. I have not had a lot of time to do this in weeks past, but I am making up for it now! I have cried every day since last Thursday. Isn't that super? It has felt so good... so clensing. My Mom always said that crying was good for you, and I think I will always believe that is true.
When is the last time you had the opportunity to cry youself into a nap? This is the BEST feeling. You're so exhausted that every pore in your body needs rest. I'm obviously ignoring the part where you wake up and your head feels like you smacked it on the concrete sidewalk, your eyelids are so swollen you can not apply makeup, and your bed is filled with tissues. :)

I have to sit and be sad, so that is what I am doing. I am going to sit in Boston, NYC, and Dallas and be sad this summer. Not all of the time, of course, but some of that time- however much of it I need. I do not think I will ever have the chance to do this again.
I was thinking today and none of the people in my extended family have lost their Mother... on either side of the family. Both of my Grandmas are still living and all of my Aunts. We're the first ones to lose our Mom. We're the first cousins to lose a parent. Nobody knows how we feel. Nobody can fathom the depths of our sorrow... I'm not sure we can even fathom it.
Isn't life odd?

I pray that the God that created all things alive and dead has a plan for reuniting us with our loved ones in Heaven. He is a God that is so interested in how we are doing relationally- He has provided so many amazing relational connections here on Earth... I can not imagine He would create Heaven and leave out this wonderful part of living. I hope not. Though I do not know for sure, and I have no idea if we get a window down to Earth to finish the show if we have left before the ending. If there is no window I hope we get time to fill-in everyone on what happened after they went home. Oh the things Rachel and my Mom would be amazed by!! The things that have yet to be that I am sure they would marvel at with us.

This began as an entry about temping. In a way, we're all temps aren't we? We all decide each morning if we are available that day or not. We put out different messages to let others know if we are in the office or taking a time out.
In the largest picture we are temping because this world is not our Home. We are only here for a time, and then we will be reunited with Christ in a New City prepared for those who believe.
Oh Glorious Day!