What is beauty?

Yes, this is a cliche question, but I've found myself contemplating it constantly as of late.

Is beauty how you look to yourself or to others? Is beauty on the inside like your Mama tells you? Or is beauty external and filed according to the world's standards?

I'm struggling with all these aspects of beauty. I'm having a hard time understanding how the world isn't ready for a superstar sex symbol that doesn't look fair skinned with petite features. Why can't people see the incredible beauty in other faces that look different from their own? I guess some people can... I can... but it feels like most people don't.

How is it that I can look into the eyes of people who look different and see their beauty and yet my own beauty is hidden from me? Lately I've had numerous people tell me that I'm beautiful. I even had a coworker say to me this morning, "Do you know what a beautiful person you are? You are so beautiful!" and I just said, "no, I don't and I'm not sure why." I then tried to explain that at church yesterday a bunch of people came up and commented how pretty and beautiful I looked and I was somewhat grateful for their appreciation of my chosen outfit, but also pretty uncomfortable with the idea that they meant more than that. As I was saying this my coworker, Carla, stopped and said, "I mean, that's true when you're done up, but I'm saying this isn't about how you look on the outside-- you are just a beautiful person."
I don't even know how to take ownership of that. What does that mean for how I interact with men, specifically? If I can't acknowledge my beauty I can't believe when a man looks at me and finds me attractive/appealing/desirable, etc. If I can't believe that a man could see me that way where does that leave me?

I think on some level I do feel like I'm beautiful, but typically only when I've got every lash in place and the perfect shoes to go with my outfit that day. When I'm dressed up and done up I feel beautiful... but why not everyday without all the dress up and makeup?

Have I been conditioned to believe I am not beautiful? Has the enemy taken hold of my identity in Christ and warped it so much that I can't even see Christ's immeasurable and awe-inspiring beauty in me?

It seems like God makes things to be appealing to our eye. He has gifted us with the ability to appreciate beauty... but how are we misusing it and hurting him?

This post created more questions than answers. ha. Just some food for thought.