tick...tock...tick...tock...

Waiting

as usual.

The recruiter called me this morning to ask me my GPA. Oh man. How the hec do I know?! I realize I graduated in '05, so my resume makes me seem younger, but I feel like that was ages ago. It wasn't, but still. So I had to get online and scramble to find my old GPA. I graduated college with honors - cum laude - and other than patting myself on the back this is the first time it has actually mattered to anyone. Kinda nice. and weird.

I still haven't heard back from him about the job from yesterday's interview. The interview went really well, so if they go with someone else it won't be because of anything I could have done differently. Now the fun part... waiting...

I just read my post from two days ago and had to stop and think about if I would be able to declare all those promises for myself and truths about God if this job is a no-go. When the chips are down and the answer is no - can we still worship God because he is good and worthy of our praise?

Well, if I'm honest that has been hard for me to do in the past. I've had lots of tantrums - arms flailing, blubbering mess tantrums. In the end, once I've become exhausted, I realize the entire time God was saying something beautiful to me but I couldn't hear over my fit. I couldn't hear him telling me that he is steadfast. that he is the provider of peace and comfort. that he is the Lord of Lords and deserves all glory. that he loves me beyond measure.

I don't want to have a tantrum this time around. (notice I'm not vowing it will never happen again) I want to hear God tell me he loves me and that his plan for me is perfect and not meant to harm me.

Can it be that we are, in fact, being sanctified? That we aren't doomed to respond the way we always have? That God will conquer our flesh and make us new? Lord have mercy, that's good news, people!