What now?

What do you do when you realize you're still struggling with old sin patterns and habits that are hurting other people? I know we all deal with mistrust and control issues because we live in a broken world and are required to live by faith - which is essentially ultimate trust and hope in God's ability to write the story and take perfect care of us. Why is it so hard to trust? Why is it so hard to surrender? Lord, have mercy!

Here are some quotes from articles I read tonight on being controlling.

This article was almost entirely applicable for me:
"Controlling behavior: Behavior intended to control your own feelings, control how people feel about you and treat you, or control the outcome of things. All of us have grown up learning many different ways to control we had to as part of our survival."

"If anger and criticism was used in your family, you might have learned to respond to it with compliance being a good girl or boy. You might have learned to put aside your own feelings and needs and go along with what others wanted in the hopes of controlling their feelings and actions toward you. You might use care-taking as your primary form of control."

"...you might be a caretaker in the hopes of getting people to love and approve of you, and then you might turn to anger when that doesn't happen. You might find yourself giving in to whatpeople want to a certain extent, and then retreating or resisting their attempts to control you. You might find yourself being furious at someone's attempts to control you, but then giving in anyway to avoid his or her upset with you... on the surface you might be a nice and giving person, all the while pulling energetically for others' love, attention, and approval."
--------------------------------------

"Why would anyone continue to meddle, fix, advise, worry, obsess or monitor other people's behavior when it makes them and everyone around them miserable? Simply put, they do it to keep their anxiety (fear) at bay believing that they cannot find peace as long as people or situations around them are not ok and they don't know any other way of functioning. No one plans to do this for life but for many people it may be there as long as they can remember."  -Psychology Today article
--------------------------------------

From this article: 
"Unfortunately, not a small number of spouses today bring into their marriages strong selfishness, deep unconscious trust wounds from hurts with a parent or the serious weakness of modeling after a controlling parent which lead them to act in a controlling manner."

"Children are seriously harmed by observing the controlling and demeaning behaviors and words shown toward a parent. Such parental behaviors result in severe stress in the home which damages a child's happiness, hopefulness, trust and confidence even if the child is not the recipient of these words and behaviors.  The emotional pain in these children, which includes a great deal of anger, is often unconscious.  However, it requires the expenditure of significant intellectual energy in order to deny it.   Subsequently, many of these children develop cognitive difficulties with maintaining attention and concentration which can lead to their being diagnosed with ADHD."