sell yourself, or not

Why do so many life moments come down to selling yourself well? Being the best marketer of you. Do they have to? In thinking about the sermon from this Sunday on Abram and Sarai in Genesis, I'm realizing that if I trust God and can remember the promises he made then I don't have to sell myself. Right?

It is difficult to see a way around putting yourself in the best light when you're single and in the teen years of your career. I find it exhausting and, honestly, a little exhilarating. That second part makes me wonder if that's a product of having been clever enough to make your own decisions about your life - making plans that don't change - getting approval from others for the thing you spent extra time on instead of resting in God's providence.

Can the thrill of the chase be thrilling because God has made you - wonderfully, fearfully made you to glorify himself and in those moments when you're at your best you can taste and see the beauty of his creation?

I wish I were that virtuous. The sweetness of success at convincing someone else that I'm special and interesting and talented and desirable is often followed by a sour aloneness in having climbed there all on my own.

The next climb I'd really like to go on in obedience to God - in following his call on my life, not my call. Maybe someday I will have the faith of Abraham and actually find myself doing just that.