Ms. Wilkes is my neighbor.

I had no idea the character from Misery, Annie Wilkes, was an actual person AND my neighbor! Today, however, we finally met and ladies and gentlemen - it's true. She's real and she lives two doors down from my house. (reason #231 to move)

Alright, now the story -
Atherton, my street, is a one-way street. The problem is that there is only one way to access my street because of all the crazy city road planning in Somerville. My method of handling this issue is just going the wrong way down my street to get to my driveway. There is VERY little traffic on our street and just about everyone, including the UPS guy, does it. Now, my friend Elizabeth and our landlord have both commented that there is a lady that yells at people for doing this, but since moving to Atherton in August I have yet to meet this mysterious grinch.

Well, until today.
So, I'm headed home from work feeling good - got off at 3:30p, the sun was shining and my sunroof was open - spring has arrived in New England! As I come to the end of my street where I usually turn left (illegally, I admit) instead of right I notice a woman in a tiny mini-Cooper stop in the middle of the road. I pulled back to wait for her to drive away so I could turn left (where she was sitting) but she didn't move. Another car came up behind me, so I decided to follow it past her. The car turned immediately into a parking lot (where she had emerged from) and so I went to move around her since her car was so tiny and mine is pretty small, too (VW Bug). She jetted out toward me and came quite literally an inch from smashing into my car. I stopped and was just staring at her. She looked insane - crazy big frizzy hair as she yelled at me from inside her car, "THIS IS A ONE WAY! YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE END!" I was so shocked all I could think to do was yell back, "GET OUT OF THE WAY! YOU'RE GOING TO HIT MY CAR. MOVE!" She just kept shaking her head no. Then she moved like she was reaching for something (a cell phone? notepad? her citizens arrest badge? I'll never know). I backed up and then zipped around the backside of her before she could get into reverse.

I got home and was physically trembling. I have never had someone come at me so aggressively, it was freaky. I just kept thinking, "Man, she's got to be so exhausted trying to police this street to make sure nobody drives the wrong way." - especially because most everyone does. What a defeating obsession.

I will say, for Kristen's sake, that I was wrong and clearly so. I figured she was trying to get me to hit her so she could call the police and then slam me for being the wrong way on the street and messing up her car. That's quite a sacrifice for her cause. Seriously, though, it really isn't a big deal to go the wrong way on this street - even if you disagree with me - it isn't a big deal.

So, my roommates and I have named this new neighbor Ms. Wilkes. I'm scared she's going to key my car tonight.