church searching is for the weak

The past few months have provided a WIDE array of experiences in worship. It seems they have everything from rock bands to full robed choirs to an organist & cantor here in Texas, but I've yet to find the sweet spot between honoring the beautiful old hymns and giving them just a little pep a la folk sounds. I'm beginning to think it doesn't exist here - at least not in a place where they're also teaching reformed theology.

The thing is in all my efforts to not be a consumer in my church hunt it feels impossible to avoid doing so. The service I sat through this morning was downright depressing! It was a church from the denomination of my church in Cambridge, and I drove 30 minutes to get there with great anticipation only to find a very sleepy (tiny) congregation and incredibly drab "worship." It felt like what I'd imagine a spooky church in a horror film to feel like - you know the one - all the people are singing in a monotone dirge-like style looking very downcast and oddly frail. The sanctuary was so quiet that you wouldn't believe there were any children in attendance. That's the strangest (or at least most distracting) thing of all, though - because the family in front of me took up two rows with their 12 children and what appeared to be two wives and one husband. The children all looked a lot alike, but so did the two women and its possible the other husband was sick, or something, but the women and the man acted like they were parenting all the children. I get the creeps just thinking about the entire experience. Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.

One thing I did like was they served communion - oh how I needed it! Not only that, but they served the wine in a glass that was like like a tall shot glass - it took several gulps to drink, and I thought how appropriate that it should take me time to finish the meal and contemplate its significance.

This search is not for the strong or I would have mastered it upon arrival. I'm leaning on Jesus more than I have in a long time, and finding myself not as freaked by my frailty as expected. Don't get me wrong, I'd rather be establishing roots in a community by now, but I'm confident God has a church for me here and that he's not trying to play games with me to find it.

The best news of the week? I booked a ticket to Boston for Easter!! I am SOOO excited to be back for the one weekend of the year where we have 4 services! I'm going to soak up every second of it.